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Wish you had kept it to yourself?

“话痨症”源自何处?

中文 英文 双语 2013-07-23    来源:21st Century      阅读数:103896
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导读:生活中,我们难免会有嫌自己话太多的时候。而喋喋不休往往令人悔不当初。什么该说?什么又不该说?说话是门值得钻研的艺术。
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说话的艺术
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生活中,我们难免会有嫌自己话太多的时候。而喋喋不休往往令人悔不当初。什么该说?什么又不该说?说话是门值得钻研的艺术。

Have you ever felt like an idiot for having said too much?
你是否曾因为话太多而觉得自己很白痴?

After graduating from a Hong Kong university recently, Anita Chow had one of those moments.
刚刚从某香港大学毕业的周安妮(音译)就曾经历过这样尴尬的时刻。

A few weeks ago, the 22-year-old applied for an internship with a Public Relations (PR) company. Chow said she is usually quiet and reserved, but during the interview she tried hard to act against her nature.
几周前,22岁的周安妮申请了一家公关公司的实习生职位。周安妮说,她平时沉默寡言,但是在面试过程中,她努力表现得十分“健谈”。

She smiled a lot and talked in a lively manner. When asked why she wanted to work in PR, she said the job would enable her to meet a lot of interesting people. Then she added jokingly: “Who knows? I might even meet my future husband.”
她不时微笑,谈笑风生。当被问及为何选择公关行业时,她说因为这份工作可以令她接触到很多有趣的人。紧接着她调侃道:“谁知道呢?我也许能遇到我的未来夫婿呢。”

Chow wanted to punch herself the moment she stepped out of the interview room. “It came out so wrong,” she says. “Now the interviewers will think of me as one of those women who don’t have any career ambition and just want to get married and settle down.”
当她踏出面试房间的那一刻,周安妮真想打自己一拳。“如此离谱地说错话,”她说。“现在,面试官一定认为我是那种没有职业抱负、一心恨嫁求安稳的女孩。

Saying too much or oversharing happens to every one of us. In the era of social media, sharing every detail of your life, no matter how personal or mundane, is almost expected and encouraged.
我们每个人都有说话太多或是“过度分享”的经历。在社交媒体时代,人们大都期待看到并鼓励这种关于生活细节的分享行为——无论多么私人或平淡无奇都不例外。

But it isn’t all social media’s fault. “Experts say oversharing often happens when we are trying subconsciously to control our anxiety,” according to a Wall Street Journal column.
但这不全是社交媒体的错。《华尔街日报》的一篇专栏文章指出:“有关专家表示,当我们下意识地去控制焦虑情绪时,常常就会过度分享。”

Chow’s is a typical case of “self-regulation” aimed at fighting her own anxiety. It happens like this: When having a conversation, we want to sound witty and interesting. So we use a lot of mental energy trying to manage the other person’s impression of us. The effort required doing this leaves less brainpower to filter what we say and to whom, says The Wall Street Journal.
周安妮就是一个通过“自我调节”来缓解紧张情绪的典型例子。《华尔街日报》发表文章称,事情是这样发生的:在交谈中,我们想让自己的话听上去诙谐有趣。因此,我们费劲心思给别人留下深刻印象。如此一来,我们很少会去花心思过滤我们的谈话内容和对象。

This explains why we sometimes blurt out embarrassing things to people we want to impress most, whether it’s a first date, the boss or our future in-laws. It leads to awkward situations and is the perfect material for comedy movies.
这就解释了为何我们在初次约会、面对老板或未来亲家时,会为打动对方而不时地“祸从口出”了。这将会置你于尴尬境地,更像是拍摄喜剧电影的绝佳素材。

Hal Shorey, a psychologist from the Institute for Graduate Clinical Psychology at Widener University in the US, told The Wall Street Journal that anxious people are often blabbers. They are overly sensitive to social cues and worry too much about what others think of them.
美国威得恩大学临床心理研究生院的心理学家哈尔•肖里在接受《华尔街日报》采访时说,内心焦虑的人通常会喋喋不休。他们对社交暗示过于敏感,过于在乎别人的眼光。

Even people who are not of the anxious type lose control when under emotional stress and feel the need to talk. But this seldom makes things better, says Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, a US-based family therapist. It may feel good to unburden ourselves to our parents about the problems we have at work or with our partners, but sharing our problems will only make them worry.
甚至那些非焦虑型人群在精神紧张时也会失控,而产生倾诉的欲望。但来自美国的家庭问题心理咨询师莎伦•吉尔克里斯特•奥尼尔则表示,这往往只会让事情变得更糟。向父母吐露自己工作上的难题或者和朋友之间的烦心事,也许会让我们感到如释重负,但殊不知,这样只会令他们担忧。

So how do you stop yourself from blabbing too much? Simple: stop and think before you open your mouth. “Go through the process in your mind where you walk through the ultimate effects of sharing,” O’Neill told The Wall Street Journal.
那么,怎样才能管住自己的嘴呢?办法很简单:三思而后行。“在脑海中迅速过一遍,预先想好你的这番话将导致怎样的后果。”奥尼尔在接受《华尔街日报》采访时表示。

21英语网站版权说明  (Translator & Editor: 21英语 Sherry AND Aaron)


以上文章内容选自《21世纪英文报》,详情请见《21世纪英文报》1014期



 


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